Week 30: OFFL Draw made

Fat Mal's Malcademicals fall to their lowest position of the season! Third. Most managers would dream of rising to that height for at least one week. Is this the start of an uncontrollable descent into mid-table mediocrity? Probably not, but it's nice to entertain the situation for a few moments of schadenfreude.

Meanwhile, Managers of the Week are Jonathan King and Tom Vamos as their respective Moobchester United and West Vam notch up 16 points each. They still lie bottom of the table however, but they are both rapidly catching Minty Colquhoun's Mintal Disorder in twenty-eighth.

Inevitability.

Now, everyone look at Gavin Ward. Everyone stare at him. Minus 4.

OFFL Cup
Knockout, Round 3, Quarter Finals
To be played in Week 34



         Sheep City  v  Woolyback Town AFC
        Pompey Puss  v  Salad Dodgers
        Real Mcdrid  v  Moobchester United
   Stay Poyet Stay!  v  RS T-Boy

Week 29: Cup Results

Real Mcdrid boss, Craig's victory Jagger dance

Real Mcdrid falls furthest, down three, while still managing to knock Inter Milandrover out of the cup. Meanwhile Lashings of Cheese climb highest, up three, but was kicked out of the cup ages ago. To add to these pointless cries of injustice: Tom Vamos, also out of the cup [after only entering the league this year *for* the cup] becomes Manager of the Week after scoring a large 21 points. West Vam still remain bottom of the table while Guy Harewood's Woolyback Town AFC extend their lead at the top.

So what did actually happen in the cup?

OFFL Cup
Knockout, Round 2

The prize for this year's OFFL Cup Final Winner is an amazingly beautiful and stylish figurine of Italian Fabio Capello, to commemorate the 2010 World Cup. The loser gets Wayne Rooney.

      Inter Milandrover 3 v 5 Real Mcdrid
    Moobchester United 13 v 10 Shamone Muddy Funksters
            Livercoolio 4 v 13 Salad Dodgers
        Moanchester Utd 5 v 8 Pompey Puss
Fat Mal's Malcademicals 4 v 13 Sheep City
    Wymondham Wanderers 1 v 11 Woolyback Town AFC
      Stay Poyet Stay!* 8 v 8 Freddie's Dreamers
               RS T-Boy 7 v 5 Wardy's Wanderers

* Stay Poyet Stay! go through on Points per Pound difference

Congratulations to Sarah Bingham and Craig McHugh for the upsets of the round, Livercoolio and Inter Milandrover bounce out of the competition as a result with Woolyback continuing their plight for the Double by knocing out University chum's Wymondham Wanderers. Sheep City also knock out Fat Mal, which took a bit of a run up.

Well done all. Draw for the next round soon.

Week 20: First week's results of the OFFL Cup

As the Chairman gazed through His billowing breath at the lofty waning gibbous shining out above His hideaway, the snow fell. News came through that airports were closing all over the country. People were slipping over and roads were becoming treacherous. As a treat to Himself, He decided to choose outrage over reason as His most natural response. Someone, He raspingly ranted inside, Was To Blame. And let's face it, if we ignore the weather offering its own sole role as the reason this season, it must be the Government's fault.

Must be.

Never mind the facts that other snow-vulnerable countries like Russia, Canada and Father Christmas's very own Lapland also close their airports and roads in similar conditions. Yeah. Never mind that. After all, if He was to take that into account it would take the sting out of His cantankery. No, no, forget that, the Chairman decided to be brutishly British.

Dave Clayton, learning to spell in his favourite gay bar

It isn't his fault, at any rate. Nobody advised him to buy a shovel and a bag of salt, did they? How was he to know?

Yes.

The Chairman comforts his own lack of preparedness by blaming the Government.

And with that, he had a marvellous night's kip.

As did Sarah Bingham whose Salad Dodgers jumped up highest with Dave Clayton's Shamone Muddy Funksters - both ascend four places.

It's tense at the top with only eleven points separating the top eight teams. Malcademicals aren't looking as comfortable as they were up there. It must be the cold.

And his haemorrhoids.

The Manager of the Week certificate is to be torn in half and distributed crisp and evenly between Dave Clayton and newcomer Tom Vamos. Both their teams notched up a Christmassy 18 points. As luck would have it, they're also both in the same group in the qualifying round of the OFFL Cup, with Shamone Muddy Funksters edging the lead on Points Per Pound difference.

Is it nearly New Year already?