Week 16: Rachel is a bottom feeder

Burlesque dancer, Rachel Jones, on a Friday night [self-portrait, 2010]

Manager of the Week, AGAIN, is Russell Bielby with his Livercoolio netting a net 18 points meaning a climb-up of another three places in the league.

Nick Reed's Stay Poyet Stay! begins to plummet - down four. Big Mally, though, squeezes himself up and onto the perch that is number one in the League, alongside Niel McConaghy. He looks over at the rather annoyed Welshman before pushing his specs up his nose, slapping the boyo on the back and saying "Aw'right Neil? How have you been?", before turning away to admire the view.

As if he cares.

All Hail The Chairman

Let me start that sentence again.

All Hail The Chairman has climbed furthest this week, up four, by scoring a mighty 16 points. Meanwhile, Manager Rob is busy behind the scenes wheeling and a-dealin' in the transfer market hoping to consolidate this week's leap across the 100 point mark.

Now unshackled from the foot of the table, Mintal Disorder leaps further away from bottom-feeding Double Utd and is streaking away to safety. Minty Colquhoun's team now rest 2 points clear of Rachel Jones's.

And talking of OFFL losers, Happy Birthday to Paddy Mirams who celebrated by achieving the worst score of the week. Minus 3 points. Lovely.

Week 14: Livercoolio On The Up

There's this book, right, and it's a corker. A Real Page-Turner. FULL of magic and stories and tales of duty and heroism and betrayal and temptation and all that sort of fing, right, innit though and that, and, well, there's this one bit where the Irish hero - Jesus O'Nazareth or summink - tells this geezer to get out of his wheelchair and walk. Something like that anyway, I can't remember the details but it's 'mazing, mate, a-maze-zing... [fades into background]

If we replaced the star character of the New Testament with the Manager of the Week Certificate [bear with me here], which is holding out its arms to Russ Bielby [who's just had a not-funny operation] and shouting at him to "WALK, DAMN YOU, WALK!" then I think I might have got away with that bloody awful opening paragraph.

Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen of The OFFL, Russ is recovering from his operation and made his first few steps this week. He should be sent home soon. And he'll have the MofW Certificate to accompany the Nurses' Special Boy Certificate which he earned for eating all his greens.

Well done Russ.

Oh, and for your 30 points for Livercoolio.