The 2010/2011 OFF Champions: Pompey Puss |
Pompey Puss
Lionel Larking with 422 pts
The OFFL Cup Final 2011
Real McDrid 9 v 5 Sheep City
Craig McHugh Martyn field
Weeping in his hospital bed, desperately trying to get the use of his legs back, is Sheep City's most revered citizen - Martyn Field. It's unlikely that this abrupt and unsatisfying end to his season will make much of a splash in his rather readable blog about his attempt to recover from POEMS syndrome [http://martynsthoughtsonitall.blogspot.com] - A cold stark reminder, I'm sure you'll agree, that we should all keep things in perspective: I mean, who needs a white blood cell count anyway when there's the glory of OFFL to pursue?
Craig McHugh's victory-cum-gloat parade will take place outside his chip shop in Surbiton in his open-topped Citroen CV [well, the roof will be rolled back at the very least].
Craig wins the glorious statuette of Fabio Capello circa 2010. Like Colleen McLoughlin, Martyn consoles himself with the highly paid Wayne Rooney.
Meanwhile, Neil McConaghy attempts to draw the fire from the fact that his BM Mingmongs failed to come anywhere near their season of 2007/2008 by playing the 'Doing Something For Charity Card' [see below]. Yeah, yeah.
Sheep and the City: Martyn's getting better. |
Alex Blundell is our final Manager of the Week as his team of no-hopers, Moanchester Utd, nipped in with 21 points lifting themselves two positions and cementing a final fifteenth place. Yawn.
Malcolm Pratt's Fat Malcademicals completed their Arsenal parody by falling to fourth in the table after being unable to keep in touch with the leaders. He will have to address the blunt 'Fancy Dan' play and the 'La-di-dah' passing game that leads his players to try walking the ball balletically into the net all the time. A team whose performances are very much in their manager's own style.
Just One Finger Albion finished off the season with the traditional negative score while West Vam spluttered across the 200 point mark to claim the wooden spoon. Meanwhile, Moobchester United managed to rise above the 'Total & Complete Dross' by finishing twenty-sixth as Bielby's Livercoolio reached for the line to finish third. Congratulations to all on yet another fine season without fines. [Mmm, the Chairman really must do something about that].
And talking of the Chairman, he's standing unopposed for re-election amid the usual allegations of impropriety. Don't worry, you don't have to do nor understand anything. Just turn up again next season and tell him how wonderful he his. Next Year's OFFL Cup, for instance, will be hosted by Rob Ivison's 'All Hail The Chairman'. Can't think why.
So, assuming the Chairman manages his annual pre-season escape from the clinic, we'll see you in August.
Have a happy Summer.
You're all rather wonderful.
The Studmarks Team
OFFL HQ
T h e T a b l e
Value Points
Team Manager (GBPm)Wk Tot
--------------------------------------------------------
1 Pompey Puss Lionel Larking 55.0 8 422
2 Woolyback Town AFC Guy Harewood 54.9 5 417
3 Livercoolio Russell Bielby 54.9 14 414
4 Fat Mal's MalcademicalsMalcolm Pratt 52.8 7 409
4 Stay Poyet Stay! Nick Reed 53.0 15 409
6 BM Mingmongs Neil McConaghy 52.4 6 393
7 Budleigh Salterton FC Ashley Keeler 54.6 3 383
8 Shamone Muddy FunkstersDave Clayton 53.3 14 381
9 Inter Milandrover Smasher 53.7 11 375
10 Freddie's Dreamers Francis Fox 54.9 18 356
11 RS T-Boy Rick Beecroft 54.6 10 350
12 Marmaduke's Army Edgar Rayner 54.9 10 344
13 Sheep City Martyn Field 55.0 5 340
14 Salad Dodgers Sarah Bingham 53.5 6 336
15 Moanchester Utd Alex Blundell 55.0 21 334
16 Real Mcdrid Craig McHugh 53.1 9 322
17 Dube Stars FC Khumbula Dube 54.1 15 319
18 Wardy's Wanderers Gavin Ward 54.9 5 318
19 All Hail The Chairman Rob Ivison 52.2 6 314
20 Irishpool Mike Smears 52.3 4 305
20 Wymondham Wanderers Steve Tierney 52.7 5 305
22 Lashings of Cheese Chris Walsh 53.5 1 294
23 Nuttingham Florist Andy Straw 52.2 2 283
24 Menarepigs3 Kate Wilson 54.2 1 266
25 Radnorshire Tigers Alun Edwards 52.9 1 261
26 Moobchester United Jonathan King 54.9 12 244
27 Just One Finger Albion Paddy Mirams 54.2 -2 236
28 Double's Utd Rachel Jones 54.4 1 225
29 Mintal Disorder Minty Colquhoun 52.7 9 214
30 West Vam Tom Vamos 54.8 14 202
Week's Average Points 7
Total Average Points 325